I'm

 My illness persists. I am coughing frequently. I have three hearings next week. I need to work. I might also have to go to Ankara as an elected member of the board. Emre has bought a ticket to Skopje and is leaving on the 20th. I, too, might be in Ankara for a few days that same week. I have reached the end of the road. I might retire. I could work at a law firm where I can utilize my foreign language skills. I cannot cope with the machinations of the academic community.